Indian No. 1

Last week two events, unconnected unless you take into account the string theory which manages to connect yours truly with both Mr Obama and Mr Osama, shook my faith in numerical ratings of any kind. India became the No. 1 ODI cricket team in the world and an Indian, Mr Vijender Singh became the No. 1 boxer in the world in his weight category,

The eternal whiner, some friends might comment. He doesn’t find joy in the fact that his countrymen are achieving the distinction of being the best in the world. Hold on friends, don’t get me wrong. I like the first numeral as much as the next bloke. Infact so much that I am partly responsible for the success of a certain Mr Dhawan and his string of Heroes, Coolies and Biwies, all of whom shared a single trait, that of being No. 1. I rejoiced with my countrymen whenever Mr Anand’s ILO PILO ratings made him the No. 1 chess player in the world. I know that it is not often that we get a chance to celebrate anything Indian being Numero Uno, unless we are talking about population growth, illiteracy, poverty, number of blind people, the list goes on. And more so Indians and being No. 1 in sports, you must be kidding. We rank 148 ^th in Football. I think the only country ranked lower than us is Vatican City, and that too because priests are forbidden to don football jerseys and it gets kind of unwieldy running around in those costumes and the hats.

So why am I not jumping from the rooftop when the Indian cricket team reaches the Number 1 ranking. Well, here is a team that is outplayed in every department of the game by New Zealand, Pakistan and Australia (those of you who think India had a chance against the Aussies in that rained out fixture, well sir, hats off, you personify everything that is wrong with sports in our country) within the matter of a week. And while we are losing game after game, our rankings go up. Why, I ask? Because South Africa is losing too, the purists are quick to point out. The same holds true in boxing. Here is a man who came 3 ^rd in the recently concluded World Championships. No mean feat by Indian standards. But suddenly he rises to No. 1 in the world, and guess who is No. 2, the guy who just beat him in the world championships and has consistently performed better. Can someone explain this? Performance and rankings, I thought they went hand in hand, or glove. Or maybe in order to make rankings more scientific, we have taken out the art of performance from the equation.

On the flip side, I feel vindicated. I kept telling my parents that not getting the first rank in school didn’t mean I was not the best student. And standing first is as much about me getting more marks as it is about the next person getting less marks. Or maybe its about making the rating system so complicated that you need to be a rocket scientist to decipher. And off late we Indians have been doing exceptionally well in rocket science. While we haven’t been able to find water in Delhi, we have found it on Moon. First country to do so. And this is one rating I would want to believe.